We make our decisions, then our decisions make us.
-Andy Andrews, podcast host of The Professional Noticer
Decisions
Ever feel tense and overwhelmed by the myriad of decisions you make every day? INC magazine published an article about decision making fatigue in March, 2020. Their surveys indicate that the average adult makes more than 35,000 decisions per day and 3-5 errors per hour. Staggering. “Mental fatigue” and “fog” are labels that experts give the impact of constant overload. Most of us regularly experience those symptoms, e.g.”fog brain”, where you can hardly think at all, much less make high quality decisions. Sleep disorders are no surprise when you think about how much we have to think about. Not enough hours in the day, right? So, our brains hijack our sleep, trying to keep up.
DEMANDS
When the demands on you are greater than your resources, you start to glaze over and become less and less capable of delivering quality work, quality parenting, or couple-nourishing. In spite of the fact that this condition afflicts most humans in modern society, when it afflicts you, you need help. Sometimes help involves off-loading and/or delegating tasks. Other times you must say “No.” Sometimes engaging more assistants. Occasionally you need to up your game and give extra time or focus, which probably means having to drop one of the other priorities in your life, at least temporarily.
Declutter
The book Effortless by Greg McKeown (comes in audible form) is a wonderful resource to help you simplify your life and make what’s on your plate manageable without working yourself to death. McKeown makes a point that spoke to me. He wrote that if we ask ourselves this simple question, “Is there an easier way to attack the tasks that feel overwhelming?” we can create more positive energy. In fact, it will help us find the simple, effortless solution to our challenging tasks.
I know, the cynical part of your brain is already sending messages like, “Yeah, sure! He doesn’t know what I have to do every day.” I invite you to hold those reactions and entertain the possibility of doing things differently from how you always have in the past.
Exhale and Enjoy
Here are a few ideas that may produce more positive outcomes:
- For 2 minutes (set a timer) focus on nothing other than breathing slightly deeper and slower than usual. Inhale until the breath reaches the back of your shoulder blades. Then slowly exhale in a controlled manner. Stress research ha shown that even 2 minutes of sending an “I’m ok” message can downregulate the vagus nerve reactivity that often throws your brain into fight of flee mode. (more about downregulating stress responses in another blog).
- Ask yourself thoughtful questions. If you have time, write your answers down so that you can learn from them later. Example questions are:
- When I make a decision, do I make it quickly or slowly? Whichever answer you give, think about why. Don’t label yourself this way or that. Break the answer down and get specific. If someone was videoing you throughout your day or
- Which of the activities do I do that I could eliminate today?
- Who are the people in my life that are draining, even sucking the life out of me? How much are they impacting me? If the impact is significant and negative, then write three possible actions you could consider to reduce that impact. How difficult or easy would it be to make those changes?
- When I make a decision, do I make it quickly or slowly? Whichever answer you give, think about why. Don’t label yourself this way or that. Break the answer down and get specific. If someone was videoing you throughout your day or
- Train your brain to stay focused, confident, and optimistic. One way to do that, according to Mark Waldman, author of NeuroWisdom: The New Brain Science of Money, Happiness, and Success,is to use both sides of your brain when attacking a problem. The left side controls analytic and logical thinking (linear).The right side is where emotion and creativity reside (intuition).
Waldman writes that if a decision we make doesn’t activate the nucleus acumbens in our brains (pleasure center), we will not be motivated enough to do whatever task we give our minds. Using both sides of your brain stimulates the acumbens. So,, quickly jot down 3 experience or thoughts that bring you happiness or joy. Motivation is a huge factor in successful transformation.
- Learn a little about EMDR- Eye Movement Desensitization Response. EMDR is an evidenced approach to therapy for people who want to manage trauma reactions, anxiety interference, and depression. When I worked for the US Army, the Department of Defense medical facilities considered EMDR to be evidenced-based, meaning it has scientific studies to support it’s effectiveness. EMDR uses what is called bilateral stimulation. Although it helps to work with a trained EMDR therapist to get the most out of this technique, you can learn to do some of it by watching the YouTube links below. If you stir up more than you calm down, please contact a certified therapist through the EMDRIA directory.
Below is a video of Prince Harry using an EMDR technique. A second video discusses whether to use it on yourself.
**Prince Harry uses EMDR to work through the trauma of losing his mother. Go to:
**Step-by-Step demonstration of EMDR
Summary
We make so many decisions every day that it is no surprise that mental fatigue and fog are epidemic. We can combat the negative impact by becoming more aware, creative, and focused about ways to make some of those decisions easier. Activate both sides of your brain to maintain motivation and analyze how you might make better choices to take care of yourself and your relationships
Raise your mindfulness about how many choices you really have when ou make those 35,000 decisions today. Choice implies that you have other options, even if you don’t think so. Recognize the other options before you think or act. And, remember that perfection is only a direction. The fact that we make that many errors every hour, on average, lets us know we will never be perfect.
Select at least one of the ideas above and practice using it for 7 days. Then evaluate. If it helped, keep doing it and add another self-challenge. Try an additional idea for 7 days. New habits take about 30 days of repetition to become established.